By Andronika Kelso and Grace Wang
This blog is a summary of our published article:
McClung, E., Rosen, N. O., Dubé, J. P., Wang, G. A., & Corsini-Munt, S. (2023b). Motivation when desire is low: Associations between sexual motivation and sexual intimacy, sexual satisfaction, and sexual distress for men with hypoactive sexual desire disorder and their partners. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 53(3), 1075–1089. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-023-02752-x
What does low desire mean for sex?
Men with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) experience fewer or absent sexual thoughts or fantasies and desire for sexual activity, which can negatively impact their well-being. Struggling with sexual desire can cause a lack of intimacy and lower sexual satisfaction among both partners in a couple, not just with the one experiencing the low desire.
Research has shown that engaging in sexual activity for autonomous motives over controlled has positive implications for sexual and relational outcomes in both partners [1, 2, 3, 4, 5].
An autonomous reason that someone might engage in sexual activity is because it feels good to them, while a controlled reason could be because they want to please their partner or avoid conflict.
What did we want to know?
We wanted to explore how autonomous and controlled motives for engaging in sexual activity affected sexual intimacy, sexual satisfaction and sexual distress.
We were interested in investigating consequences for both men with HSDD and their romantic partners.
Photo by sasint on Pixabay
What did we do?
We recruited 64 couples above the age of 18, from Canada or the United States and who had been dating for 6 months or longer. Each couples consisted of a man dealing with clinically low levels of sexual desire and their romantic partner. Couples were asked to independently complete online questionnaires. The questionnaire consisted of questions relating to their sexual motivation, sexual intimacy, sexual satisfaction, sexual distress, sexual frequency as well as sociodemographic factors.
We then ran statistical analyses to conclude whether men with HSDD and their partners differed in the extent to which they reported autonomous vs. controlled motives for engaging in sex, as well as whether these differing kinds of motivations had implications for their sexual intimacy, sexual satisfaction, and sexual distress.
What did we find?
We found that compared to their partners, men with HSDD were likely to engage in sexual activity for more controlled and less autonomous reasons.
Of the men with HSDD, the ones who engaged in sexual activity for more autonomous reasons reported more sexual satisfaction and both partners reported higher sexual intimacy.
In contrast, the men with HSDD who engaged in sexual activity for more controlled reasons had partners who reported feeling less sexual intimacy and sexual satisfaction, and both partners reported higher sexual distress.
What does this mean?
Enhancing autonomous motives and decreasing controlled motives for sexual activity is a tool that couples, including a man who experiences HSDD, can use in order to feel closer to one another, be more sexually satisfied and experience less sexual distress.
It means that when sexual activity is engaged in because the person has an internally-driven want to do so, there tend to be positive outcomes in their sexual relationship. In contrast, when sexual activity is engaged because the person feels external pressure there tends to be negative outcomes.
In sum, engaging in sex for external reasons, such as feeling controlled or wanting validation, can hurt men with HSDD, and how having sex for autonomous reasons, such as pleasing oneself, can potentially buffer the consequences of lower desire for relationships.
Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels
References
[1] Brunell, A., & Webster, G. (2013). Self-determination and sexual experience in dating relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 39(7), 970–987. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167213485442
[2] Gravel, E., Pelletier, L., & Reissing, E. (2016). “Doing it” for the right reasons: Validation of a measurement of intrinsic motivation, extrinsic motivation, and motivation for sexual relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 92, 164–173. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.12.015
[3] Gravel, E. E., Reissing, E. D., & Pelletier, L. G. (2019). Global, relational, and sexual motivation: A test of hierarchical versus heterarchical effects on well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 20(7), 2269–2289. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-018-0047-3
[4] Gravel, E., Reissing, E., & Pelletier, L. (2020). The ebb and flow of sexual wellbeing: The contributions of basic psychological needs and autonomous and controlled sexual motivation to daily variations in sexual wellbeing. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(7), 2286–2306. https://doi.org/10.1177/026540752092155
[5] Wood, J., Desmarais, S., Burleigh, T., & Milhausen, R. (2018). Reasons for sex and relational outcomes in consensually non-monogamous and monogamous relationships: A self-determination theory approach. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(4), 632–654. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517743082
