By Alice Bourne
This blog is a summary of our published article:
Dawson, S. J., Fitzpatrick, E. T., Farm, G. H.-J., & Rosen, N. O. (2023). Self-compassion and compassionate love are positively associated with expectant and new parent couples sexual and relational well-being. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 52, 3393–3404 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-023-02658-8
The perinatal period
The perinatal period (the period during pregnancy, and up to 12 months after pregnancy) is a period associated with many changes for the pregnant couple, whether they be biological, psychological or interpersonal [1].
The changes that couples undergo during this time can affect their romantic and sexual relationships. It is important that couples approach their changing relationship with compassion to try and alleviate some of struggles associated with the perinatal period [2,3]. Self-compassion and compassionate love are two mechanisms that individuals use to cope during periods of difficulty. Self-compassion is a tool which involves identifying and understanding oneself [4,5,6,7], while compassionate love is a type of love which is centered on another individuals’ struggle and providing emotional support and understanding to that person [2,3].
Previous studies have shown that self-compassion and compassionate love are two mechanisms which have been shown to improve relationship and sexual satisfaction [2,3], although this has not been examined during the perinatal period.
What did we want to know?
The changes and new situations that occur during the perinatal period can cause stress for the pregnant couples [1]. Responding to this stress and emotional adjustment with compassion (for oneself and an individual’s partner) may be a useful tool to navigate these struggles during the perinatal period [2,3].
We wanted to explore how the use of self-compassion and compassionate love affected relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and sexual distress in couples during the perinatal period.
What did we do?
We recruited 102 pregnant couples and 102 postpartum couples.
After being determined eligible, participants were sent surveys to complete independently from their partner. The surveys assessed self-compassion, compassionate love for one’s romantic partner, relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and sexual distress.
Photo by PetraSolajova on Pixabay
What did we find?
Self-Compassion – Pregnant Sample
- Higher levels of self-compassion among partners were associated with individuals’ higher relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and lower sexual distress during pregnancy.
- When the pregnant partner experienced higher levels of self-compassion, their partner experienced higher relationship satisfaction levels, although they did not experience a difference in levels of sexual satisfaction or sexual distress.
- High levels of self-compassion in pregnant partners were associated with higher relationship and sexual satisfaction in the pregnant parent.
Self-Compassion – Postpartum Sample
- When individuals had higher levels of self-compassion, they experienced higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
- When pregnant parents had higher levels of self-compassion, their partner reported experiencing higher amounts of relationship satisfaction.
Compassionate Love – Pregnant Sample
- Higher levels of compassionate love were associated with both partner’s higher relationship and sexual satisfaction, and the pregnant partner’s lower sexual distress.
- Higher levels of compassionate love were associated with partner’s higher relationship satisfaction.
- When the pregnant partner gave compassionate love, their partner experienced higher levels of sexual satisfaction.
Compassionate Love – Postpartum Sample
- Higher levels of compassionate love were associated with an individual’s higher relationship and sexual satisfaction.
What does this mean?
Our findings demonstrate that self-compassion and compassionate love can be useful tools for helping couples as they navigate new relational and sexual challenges during the perinatal period.
Approaching the changes that new parents undergo with self-compassion can reduce negative feelings associated with these changes and can aid in the development of positive feelings surrounding their changing sexual relationship. Our research suggests that pregnant individuals who approach their distress with sensitivity may progress better than individuals who have lower levels of self-compassion and compassionate love. Additionally, displays of compassionate love between partners during these challenging times can foster growth in intimacy and emotional connection among partners.
Addressing the challenging times that couples undergo during the perinatal period with self-compassion and compassionate love can help partners effectively manage the emotions and new stressors that perinatal couples experience during this period.
Photo by jump1987 on Pixabay
References
[1] Fitzpatrick, E. T., Kolbuszewska, M. T., & Dawson, S. J. (2021). Perinatal sexual dysfunction: The importance of the interpersonal context. Current Sexual Health Reports, 13(3), 55–65.
[2] Neto, F., & Wilks, D. C. (2017). Compassionate love for a romantic partner across the adult life span. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 13(4), 606–617.
[3] Reis, H. T., Maniaci, M. R., & Rogge, R. D. (2014). The expression of compassionate love in everyday compassionate acts. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 31(5), 651–676.
[4] Michael, S., Skaczkowski, G., & Wilson, C. (2021). Sexual satisfaction and sexual distress after cancer: The role of body image disruption, self-compassion, sexual pain and relationship satisfaction. Psycho-Oncology, 30(11), 1902–1909.
[5] Neff, K. D., & Beretvas, S. N. (2013). The role of self-compassion in romantic relationships. Self and Identity, 12(1), 78–98.
[6] Sadiq, U., Rana, F., & Munir, M. (2022). Marital quality, self-compassion and psychological distress in women with primary infertility. Sexuality and Disability, 40(1), 167– 177.
[7] Santerre-Baillargeon, M., Rosen, N. O., Steben, M., Pâquet, M., Maca- bena Perez, R., & Bergeron, S. (2018). Does self-compassion benefit couples coping with vulvodynia? Associations with psychological, sexual, and relationship adjustment. Clinical Journal of Pain, 34(7), 629–637.
