By Sundus Saqib & Grace Wang
This blog is a summary of our published article:
Wang, G. A., Dawson, S. J., Huberman, J. S., & Rosen, N. O. (2024). Daily and longitudinal associations between relationship catastrophizing and sexual well-being in the postpartum period. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 41(7), 1703–1726. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231224327.
What is catastrophizing?!
Have you ever caught yourself getting upset and fixated over a small relationship issue, thinking, “This is such a disaster” or “How will this get better”? That kind of thinking pattern is called relationship catastrophizing [4].
For new parents, these kinds of thoughts are likely to occur more often than we might expect. Caring for a new baby while balancing other life responsibilities can be tough to manage. Parents are introduced to new routines and sleepless nights, which can lead to heightened emotions. A combination of these changes and stress can lead to parents reinforcing each other’s catastrophizing and negative patterns, which impacts their relationship and sexual wellbeing. New parent couples often report low sexual satisfaction, less desire, and more sexual distress [1,2,3]. Understandably, with all the demands that come with a new baby, sex can often become the last thing on couples’ minds.
So, could these negative ways of thinking about the relationship affect their sex life too?
What did we want to know?
This study focused on a specific negative pattern of thinking called relationship catastrophizing.
Catastrophizing occurs when one or both partners fixate on negative thoughts about their relationship, overreact to challenges, or adopt a helpless attitude to resolve them [4].
In this study, we wanted to understand how relationship catastrophizing impacts both partners’ sexual satisfaction, desire, and distress during the immediate first few months of having a baby, and if these effects persist over time.
What did we do?
We studied first-time parent couples (birthing parents and their partners) in a large study on sexual well-being during the transition to parenthood.
We gathered:
184 couples in the longitudinal part of the study
229 couples in the daily diary part of the study
After screening and consent, couples completed surveys online at six points:
- During pregnancy (20 and 32 weeks)
- After pregnancy, postpartum (2 weeks, 3, 9, and 15 months)
In the daily diary part of the study, which lasted 21 days between 3 and 4 months postpartum, couples reported daily about their sexual well-being and catastrophic thoughts about their relationship.
In the longitudinal part of the study, the surveys asked participants about their sexual satisfaction, desire, and distress.
What did we find?
When we examined couples’ daily experiences, we discovered a consistent pattern. On days when birthing parents got caught up in catastrophizing thoughts about their relationship, they felt more sexual distress. That same day, when one partner experienced catastrophizing thoughts, both they and their partners reported feeling less sexual satisfaction and desire.
Essentially, when one partner spirals into negative thinking, it often takes a toll on the other, too. Whether it was the birthing or non-birthing parent, both parents reported feeling less satisfied with their sex life, less interested in sex, and greater sexual distress when there was more catastrophizing that day.
But, every spiral has its twists.. when looking at long-term data and considering factors like fatigue, stress, or depressive symptoms, the link between relationship catastrophizing and lower sexual satisfaction 6 months later was no longer significant. Interestingly, we found that when partners catastrophized more at 3 months postpartum, birthing parents reported feeling less sexually satisfied even at 9 months.
So it turns out, what happens early on postpartum can leave lasting impacts. When partners reported higher catastrophizing at 3 months postpartum, birthing parents still reported lower sexual satisfaction even half a year later.
What does this mean?
When one partner spirals into negative, catastrophic thinking about their relationship, it can lower both their own and their partner’s sexual satisfaction and desire. These factors are especially sensitive during the period immediately after a baby is born.
Catastrophizing thoughts about your relationship might be getting in the way of intimacy, particularly after you and your partner experience a big life change like having a baby. Believe it or not, it’s not just your new baby, but the way you think about your partner, relationship, and intimacy can get in the way of your sexual well-being. The approach you and your partner take about addressing relationship problems and finding ways to work through them can not only improve intimacy but also create a positive and healthier environment for the family [5].
References
[1] Schwenck, G. C., Dawson, S. J., Muise, A., & Rosen, N. O. (2020). A comparison of the sexual well-being of new parents with community couples. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 17(11), 2156–2167. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2020.08.011
[2] Dawson, S. J., Leonhardt, N. D., Impett, E. A., & Rosen, N. O. (2021). Associations between postpartum depressive symptoms and couples’ sexual function and sexual distress trajectories across the transition to parenthood. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 55(9), 879–891. https:// doi.org/10.1093/abm/kaaa117
[3] Rosen, N. O., Dawson, S. J., Leonhardt, N. D., Vannier, S. A., & Impett, E. A. (2021). Trajectories of sexual well-being among couples in the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 35(4), 523–533. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000689
[4] Petrini, L., & Arendt-Nielsen, L. (2020). Understanding pain catastrophizing: Putting pieces together. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 603420. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.603420
[5] Stroud, C., Meyers, K., Wilson, S., & Durbin, C. (2015). Marital quality spillover and young children’s adjustment: Evidence for dyadic and triadic parenting as mechanisms. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 44(5), 800–813. https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416. 2014.900720
